Antidepressants Blog

There are many different ways of choosing a babysitter. Some parents form a babysitting club with others where they take turns to look after each others’ children. Most commonly, parents will find someone by word of mouth, from friends or neighbours. Often there will be teenage children in the neighbourhood who will be looking for extra pocket money. There are babysitting agencies who charge a commission (usually this is paid by the babysitter), and who carefully screen applicants before they will employ them. Although agencies usually are a little more expensive, they have the advantage of ready availability of a sitter, as well as a careful selection process.

If you are considering using someone you do not know, ask for references and make sure you interview her beforehand about her experience and to get a sense of her personality and how she relates to children. You may want your children to meet the babysitter as well, to see how they relate to each other.

have her visit in advance, preferably during the day, or at least to come an hour or so before you leave. This time is important as it allows her to meet the children and become familiar with the house.

Show her around the house, including the doors, locks, location of telephones, alarms, torches, first aid kit, light switches, and so on. Make sure she knows what to do in an emergency, how to handle the children if they wake from sleep, and any special needs they may have. It is important to leave the telephone number for where you will be, and an emergency phone number of relatives or friends in case you cannot be contacted for some reason.

Remember that having a babysitter should be a positive experience for your children and so preparation is important. Your usual sitter may sometimes be unavailable, so it is a good idea to go through the process described above with a couple of sitters.

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OUR MARITAL HEALTH/SEX AND PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIVING: WORKING IN SEXUALITY

1 think the only people who can have a career and have a lot of sex must be prostitutes. They do it for their living. I have to make a living and then try to make time for sex, and there isn’t much of that at all.

WIFE

Working and the workplace are two of the major sources of stress in our society. They take a physical and emotional toll everyday of our lives, sometimes leaving us with little time or interest in other areas of daily living. My interviews indicated that, unless we are able to enjoy our work, little else will bring us happiness.

Although there were exceptions, men interviewed tended to view their work as closely related to their self-esteem. They often felt sexually invigorated by some “conquest” or “victory” at work. “I can tell when he’s made a big sale,” said one wife. “He comes home horny. He wants victory sex.” “That’s true,” responded her husband. “When I’m on my game, I want to get on her.” Even though both partners laughed during this exchange, the male success-object orientation is often seen in the work/sex connection.

Women are equally involved in their careers, but they continue to be expected to “add” career or working outside the home “to” their lives. The men interviewed tended to be more supported in their work, and more adjustments were made for their working than was true for women. Women were expected to find more hours in their day, to add to an already heavy home workload. Sometimes token, sporadic chore-sharing on the part of husbands was the only accommodation made for the working wife. The increased frequency of wives working outside the home is more an addition to rather than change in the role of the married woman.

I recently asked an all-male audience how many of their wives worked. Several hands were raised. I then asked how many of their wives worked outside the home. Many of the men were perplexed, even embarrassed at their own sexism, which resulted in their failure to see work done at home as “real work.” This same sexism causes many wives to attempt to carry an unhealthy burden of career development, income production, and almost solo home maintenance.

Recent data indicate that over one third of women with master’s degrees in business administration “opt out” of the business world. More likely they are “pushed out” when they hit the ceiling of resistance to women in high positions, and confront the inevitable sexist assumption that they, more than men, have “other things” that are more important. An increasing health risk exists for women unless the “Wonder Woman” syndrome of doing it all is addressed. Doing it all can seldom allow for fulfilling sexuality.

“I feel like I’m drained,” said the wife. “At work, I get calls about the kids’ school and even think about dinners, entertaining, house issues. At home, I hardly have time to think. I certainly don’t have much energy left. Sex takes energy, so it gets on the agenda, reported in the minutes only when we can both find some time.”

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Sex roles are very complicated in most societies. This third point is less a sociological or anthropological question than it is a clinical question about expectations of maleness in your own relationship. Warren Farrell, in his book Why Men Are How They Are, and Carol

GilHgan’s book In a Different Voice provide interesting insights about this issue. How do you see men?

Dr. Farrell reports that male fantasies emphasize variety of sexual partner and the challenge of the hunt, of finding new and better sexual objects. He writes that women value sameness of partner, commitment to and from one man. Dr. Gilligan suggests that all interactions with the primary caretaker, in almost all cases the mother, determine the gender-role behaviors of men and women. Both researchers know that the brain-experience connection is a mutually influential one.

“I know this will date me, but I see men as providers, caretakers, and sexually active. They are aggressive and less emotional than women. I know that sounds stupid, but it is how I see them.” This report from one of the wives was not atypical. Stereotypes die hard and continue to influence the sexual interaction within the marriage, regardless of intellectual protests of “nonsexist” views.

“Men just have to do it all, and I think they want to do it all. It is in the nature of things and in their nature to be the doers, the responsible ones,” reported one husband. You can see the love maps of both these spouses. Can you imagine how each of these people came to feel and behave as they do?

A word of warning. It is not always the case that the spouse’s actual behavior matches his or her report. How we feel is the real love map. How we behave is only a rough approximation of that map and is filtered and changed by social constraints that may mask the real map itself.

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Those ugly and prominent veins which many people develop in their legs are part of the penalty that man has incurred for walking on his two legs.

A vein is varicose when it is dilated and tortuous.

The legs are the most common site for varicose veins, and this is related to posture. But the veins in the scrotum also may develop varicosity, and this is called a varicocele.

Varicose veins may arise around the anal ring, and are called piles or haemorrhoids.

And varicosites also may develop around the gullet, or oesophagus, usually due to liver damage.

Blood flows from the heart through the arteries and there is a head of pressure behind the blood forcing it onward. However, there is no such pump to move the blood through the veins back to the heart.

Muscular contractions force the column of blood along the veins, and in the legs this is against gravity.

Situated along the veins are small valves which break this column of blood into small segments and which prevent backward flow.

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Swallowing is a complicated procedure. Food and drink move down the gullet or oesophagus not only by the force of gravity but by active muscular contractions.

Swallowing involves a wave-like activation of the muscles of the gullet so that the food or fluid is forced onwards.

Dysphagia is difficulty in swallowing and may be due to many causes. One of which is called achalasia.

This is more common in the middle-aged and affects women more than men. It comes on slowly and symptoms are usually present for many years before the sufferer seeks help.

The cause is unknown but there appears to be some muscular inco-ordination at the lower end of the gullet.

Swallowing is difficult and there is often regurgitation of food. X-ray and direct inspection of the gullet by inserting a tube to look at the gullet lining will usually confirm diagnosis.

Stretching up the tightened area at the lower end of the gullet may bring relief or an operation may be required.

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Aspiration cytology and needle biopsy specimens must be taken with special types of syringes and needles by persons experienced in this method. Even then, because only a few cells from one small part of the abnormal area are in each specimen, the diagnosis can be missed and repeat specimens may be necessary. As with exfoliative cytology, a clear specimen doesn’t rule out cancer.

This method can obviously be used only when the suspicious area is in a place that is easy and safe to get at.

One special type of needle biopsy is the bone marrow test. The bone marrow is a soft red jelly-like area in the centre of many bones. This is where new blood cells are formed. Bone marrow cells can usually be sucked out quite easily using a fine needle. If the narrow cavity is scarred or packed with cancer cells, it may not be possible to get a liquid specimen. In these cases a tiny solid sliver of bone and marrow can be taken with a special, slightly larger biopsy needle. The pelvic bone can be used for both types of specimen. The breast bone, being easier to get at, is often used when only a liquid specimen is needed. Again, provided plenty of local anaesthetic is used to numb the sensitive outer covering of the bone this procedure should not be very painful.

Most bone marrow conditions are generalised, that is, they occur throughout the bone marrow. This means it doesn’t usually matter which particular bone the specimen comes from.

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Besides the blood count, other blood tests can help your doctor when looking for evidence of bone secondaries. Large amounts of a certain enzyme called alkaline phosphatase may be released into the blood by active bone cells. (An enzyme is a special type of protein which keeps cells functioning normally by helping certain types of chemical reactions.) The enzyme alkaline phosphatase helps bone cells produce new bone. It also helps other cells in the body function normally, especially liver cells. When the cells are either very active or damaged, some of the enzymes they contain can leak into the blood. Cancer in the bones is only one of the possible reasons for high alkaline phosphatase levels being found in the blood. Other causes include fractures, infections in bone and all sorts of liver problems. A high alkaline phosphatase doesn’t prove anything in itself, but is a clue that should lead to other tests to find the reason.

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Perhaps nowhere is preventive medicine more important than in poisoning in children.

Many instances could be prevented if adults took more care with dangerous drugs and chemicals. Most cases of childhood poisoning take place in the home and involve drugs and common household chemicals.

All dangerous articles should be stored under lock and key. Placing them high up on shelves and cupboards may not be safe — small, inquisitive children can climb on chairs and reach the contents.

There are some simple rules with which all parents should be familiar so that they can deal quickly and effectively with a case of poisoning in their children.

• Check the bottle to discover the contents and try to estimate how much has been taken.

Ring the Poisons Information Centre in your State. This is listed in the front of the telephone book and is usually manned 24 hours a day. You will then be told the correct first aid measure, the approximate dangerous dose and advised whether medical, aid should be sought.

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